Godwink once if you're listening

Today was an emotionally exhausting day. I wasn't a hard worker and I was DEFINITELY not a great friend. It's that wonderful progesterone-fueled time of the month when I am angry, anxious, paranoid, needy, and just feel ugly in every way. I second guess everything I say and do, ruminating endlessly, but I also get so hurt over what I perceive as someone not caring about me, and I had several crying jags over it today. Trying to distract myself from THAT, I was able to focus on getting a lot done as a MOM. 

At the end of the day, when I was out walking my dog, I thanked God for giving me the energy to be brave and productive as a mom, but needed to hash out the other feelings I was having. 

It was a warm, breezy evening—the kind that you imagine some southerner in a movie might slowly look up at the sky and say, "There's something in the air, alright..." Perfect for a deep conversation with God.

My dog and I walked through the vast grounds of the church in our neighborhood, and I overheard a dad with his children. 

"Do you think, if I got really good I mean, do you think I could go as fast as a car?" 

His daughter was on a scooter. 

"Dad, did you see that? Did you see the car go up on two wheels?!" 

His son was walking with his remote-controlled car. 

Dad could have grunted at them distantly and I would have completely understood. It's the end of a long Monday and we are all spent. He didn't though. He actively listened, asked follow up questions, and acted like there was nothing in the world he'd rather be doing. He was being a Good Dad. So good, in fact, that my eyes stung as they welled up with tears. I wiped them away quickly and thought, "Good grief, I really am just crying about everything now." 

It started to rain. It was so out of place that for a second I didn't understand what was happening. I had to laugh."Are YOU crying TOO, God?" I asked aloud and then just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. 

Maybe it was just a little rain and nothing more, but I think maybe God was saying, I'm right there with you. I'm listening and I feel you. 

Something in the air, alright.